Here are some steps to work through when your child is dealing with emotions, particularly hard ones like sadness, worthlessness, or anger.

1 – “What are you feeling?” It’s ok to feel emotions. Try to help them identify what they are feeling.

2 – “What made you feel this way?” Help them get to the source of the emotion they are feeling.

3 – “Does this feeling match reality? Is this feeling tricking me? Is this feeling true?” Not all feelings we feel are based in reality. Kids need to understand that sometimes our feelings trick us. We may feel like the worst kid in the world but we know that in reality, that is not true, we’re being tricked. Our feelings don’t get to dictate our reality.

4 – “What are appropriate ways to work through my feelings?” It’s ok to have emotions, but there are also more appropriate ways to work through them than others. For example, I might be really angry, but punching a hole in my wall is probably not an appropriate way to deal with that anger.