When it comes to today’s culture, happiness is king. 

It’s seemingly the primary goal for many people’s lives. And while happiness can be a great emotion we sometimes feel, it’s simply not a reality we live in on a regular basis. When happiness, not Christ, becomes the king of our lives, we find ourselves living a life serving ourselves for an ultimate goal we’ll never fully achieve. When that mindset creeps into our parenting, the consequences can be unfortunate.

If you surveyed most parents on whether they want their children to be happy, most would adamantly say yes. 

As parents, we want our children to live lives filled with joy, happiness, success, and satisfaction. 

We want to see them flourish and enjoy the world around them. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world and the idea that someone can be happy all the time, is not reality. We need to refocus our desire for children’s happiness to our desire for their discipleship and joy in Christ. John 16:33 tells us that in this world we are going to have trouble. It doesn’t tell us we are going to have unending happiness with no struggles, sadness, or low moments. What it also tells us though is to take heart because Christ has overcome the world. Our joy is in Christ, not fleeting happiness.

As parents we must resist the urge to always ensure our child’s happiness. 

We need to understand that we are helping them become adult disciples of Christ. We want to walk with them through hard things, not conquer them for them. We want them to experience consequences for actions while the price is small in preparation for when they’re bigger. We want them to experience sadness and be there for them. The world is real, real fallen… We are not doing our kids any good when we prevent them from always feeling that fallenness. We need to raise kids whose hope is in the Lord, who have experienced hard things and made it through, and who understand that we are there to be with them along the way, not doing it for them.

So the next time you are quick to fix your kids’ problems or give them that treat to band-aid their emotions, remember that happiness is not your goal, a mature disciple of Christ is.