Do you remember when you first heard about the birds and the bees? Maybe it was in health class. Or maybe it was that “special” day in school when the boys went in one room and the girls in the other. Or perhaps your parents sat you down, maybe with a disturbingly descriptive book… Or maybe you learned through a confusing, probably inaccurate story from a friend on the playground. Regardless…

There are a lot of hard conversations we will have to have with our kids and it’s important as a parent we do. And nowadays, have them earlier than you probably think… They estimate that a kid in today’s culture experiences more ideas about things in one year than previous generations have in their entire life. Let that sink in for a moment. The internet is in many ways a wonderful thing, but it has led to a flood of ideas, often unvetted ones, reaching our kids. So what do we do about it?

First, we need to monitor our kids’ exposure to places where these ideas are most prominent. That means setting limits and boundaries on devices, social media, etc. This will certainly help and is something parents should take very seriously. More on this in other discussions.

But even when we do things to properly monitor our kids’ exposure to ideas, many will still seep in. This is where it’s important that as parents we are the first discussion our kids have on these sensitive topics. Kids are learning sensitive issues and ideas at earlier and earlier ages. As parents, we need to step in and have these discussions with our kids before others do. We want to set the tone for how these topics are approached. 

What are the ages these need to happen? 

It depends… You know your children and what they can probably handle. Consider having them as early as you think they can handle the topic. There are many ways to have developmentally appropriate conversations with your kids. For example, kids don’t need a PhD in anatomy to learn what to do if they see a picture of something private. While that sounds like an icky, unwanted topic of discussion, the ages at which kids are being exposed to things is incredibly alarming. We need to be willing to get past the awkward to protect our kids. It’s probably better to be too early and be the source of the conversation than have a friend on the playground giving a distorted view of “the talk” or worse, showing something from their device. These conversations also include discussions about the different ways others in the world view topics such as religion and values. 

It’s important to approach all these conversations with sensitivity and not condescension. 

Don’t say “can you believe other people actually think _______?” Or “some people do this gross thing but you never will.” 

We need to present kids with facts and truths and help them come to reasonable conclusions about them. As we help our kids build a biblical worldview, these discussions become easier and they begin to see them through the lens of the Bible.

So it’s never too early to start thinking about these conversations, when you might have them, and how you’d like them to go. Make a plan, bring it to fruition, and prepare yourself for some crazy questions!